When You’ve Prayed and Still Don’t Know
You’ve prayed about it. Maybe more than once. The relationship, the money, the career change, the decision that keeps you up at night. You asked sincerely, you waited, and what came back felt like silence.
If that’s where you are, I want to offer you something that has helped me and many of the people I work with: silence is not the same as no answer.
The Voice We Wait For
Many of us are quietly waiting for a booming voice in our heads or a light from heaven. When it doesn’t come, we start to wonder if we’re doing something wrong, if God is far away, or if we’ve missed it.
In my experience, the answer often arrives in a more ordinary way, through the people God places in our path: a friend who says something at just the right moment, or a stranger whose words land in your heart and stay there. Loved ones and even passersby can be the hands and voice through which the Holy Spirit speaks.
When I Was Waiting
For years I wondered when I would meet my wife. I prayed about it and wondered some more.
Then, as I was getting ready to move from the Bay Area back to Seattle, something unexpected began to happen. A few friends, independently, told me I was going to meet my wife when I got back to Seattle. Then a couple of strangers said the same thing.
I recognized it immediately as an answer. Each week as my move got closer, the message came again, and each time I felt more supported and more loved. Within six months of moving back, I met Mary, who is now my wife.
No thunder. No light from heaven. Just people, gently repeating the same truth.
Listen for What You Hear More Than Twice
Here is a practice I share with the people I coach: keep track of what others say to you.
When you’ve asked a question in prayer, pay attention to the conversations, encounters, and little moments that follow. Write down what you hear. If the same idea comes back to you more than twice, especially from people who don’t know each other, take notice. That is often an answer.
Slow Down, Ask, and Listen
I’ve found that the most important thing is to slow down. Pause. Ask your questions and then really listen.
These days, I often receive answers right away. When I don’t, I take it as an invitation to be patient, to keep asking, and to stay open to what a friend or a new acquaintance might say. The answer is on its way, and it may come in a form you wouldn’t have thought to look for.
Scripture tells us, “The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5-7)
A Practice for This Week
Find a quiet, contemplative space. A candle, a favorite chair, a walk, a few minutes before the house wakes up. Take a few slow breaths and invite God and the Holy Spirit into the stillness. Then ask your question gently, the way you’d ask someone you trust.
Then listen, and notice who and what shows up in your week. You may find you were never left without an answer.
